It ruins everything, I hate it, and therefore, I will scream and laugh and cry and love wildly.

After Eli’s funeral about 2 months ago, my ginormous family and I were hanging out at my aunt’s house.  There was hub and bub and talk and more talk and people were devising a plan.  I heard the words, “Raise your hand if you’re in…”  and was told to raise my hand.  Little did I know what I had signed up for.

This last weekend was what I had obliged to on that bleak day: The Fergus Falls Annual Basketball Tournament.

Let me just explain that I haven’t played basketball since 5th grade, but I figured it would be the most hilarious weekend of my life.  You know, a good family & fun time.

However, I underestimated how competitive it would be.  When I arrived at the gym, my cousins were already doing warm ups.  I had a growing unease in my stomach as I grabbed a basketball and pretended to know exactly what I was doing.  As we practiced the other half of the gym began to fill up with 17 and 18 year old Koreans.  They were not to be underestimated.  These Koreans (that was the name of their team) had the craziest trick shots I have ever seen.  They would suspend in the air for what seemed a minute, and then guide the ball into the net with ease.  There was one player who apparently would fake a fall so that our players would trip over him. My cousin swears by it when she explains why she pushed him to the ground and yelled, “Knock it off!”  She is so sweet mannered;  when it happened, I immediately bursted out laughing and could not take any of the game seriously.

The last two teams we played were junior high age.  We went into over time for the second game but lost to an 8th grade three pointer.  We were so exhausted for the last game, and we got were easily defeated

In the process of all this, I learned what a screen was and did it with ferocity.  I also loved to run down the court when the opposition stole the ball to try and block their shoot.  Usually they had five or more inches on me, but it still felt good to sprint.

My aunt bought me a birthday cake, and it is that gesture that truly depicts my family: always hospitable and always feeding the crowd.  It was a memorable weekend, marked with a somber feeling.  I felt this heavy weight in the kitchen when we would eat post game pizza, I felt it in the car when I was driving to the court, and I felt it so heavily at the lake cabin that I left, telling everyone I wanted to go down by the lake o “check it out.”  I actually just met God and wept.  I kept remembering Eli, which is good, but the pain is still there.  All is still being healed.  My cousin, the mom of Eli, showed me a children’s book about a boy named Eli.  She had rediscovered it while reading to her classroom.  It told the story of this boy named Eli who has a new sister.  It is a story of family and innocent and pure love of a child.

This book, the fictional story of a family in the eyes of a child, is the first bud out of the ground of this death that doesn’t make much sense.  The Living Word says, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”  Eli’s story is not over, even though his chapter on this earth is.  There will be life again, but until that day, we have empty arms and broken hearts.  We have hope for the life that one death can bring.

It is always refreshing to get some new music. I have been wondering where the sick beats in the alternative music world have been. Here they are.

I don’t know what to do now that they’re over!

I grew up with a family of sports enthusiasts.  We may not be the most athletic bunch, but if there’s a rousing game on the TV you can count on us to be there.

The Olympics is like a holiday to us.  Two weeks of sitting in our living room, by the TV at restaurants, ranting and raving about who’s who and the upsets, not to mention the week of pre-Olympic prep.  My mom buys all the magazines that have all the latest scoop and predictions.

This years winter Olympics proved to be quite the excitement. But I think the best part about the Winter Olympics is the names of the events: Nordic combined, Giant slalom, Aerial skiing, SPEED SKATING?!

Epic names. Epic games.

Thanks olympians for proudly representing your countries.

Elijah Daniel, we will miss you

A farmer plans his fields and plants his seed.

A farmer doesn’t skip a day of planting or skip a field. He stays steady in his planting, no matter what he may feel.

A farmer can invest in the earth seeds of music, love, adventure just as worry, hate, and fear.  He keeps sowing and waits to see the fruit or harvest.

What do you want to sow? Can you wait and faith to see it produce? If a storm ruins a crop, wil you continue sow good seeds of faith.

These are my questions of farming.

Its that time in my life when I need to learn a few things about farming.

I could look to a number of places, obviously there is the internet, I could play Farmville on Facebook to learn the trade, or I could sit down and talk to some of my Farming uncles and receive a wealth of knowledge from their years in the fields.

Perhaps its not because I want to farm. I would like to have a small garden someday; I haven’t been back in the dirt since the cauliflower disaster of 98′ when the little green worms ate my prized vegetable.

It is about the values of farming. All I know is that farmers are consistent, persistent, steady, and they reap what they sow.  They face storms, draught, and a number of other elements with the hope and faith that each year will yield some sort of harvest and fruit of their efforts.

Themes of farming can be applied to faith and relationship paradigms with God, relationships with people, and finally to life itself.

So this is the intro post. My next post will be the principles derived from farming ;;; I have to dig for them before I can write about them

I never knew these words could mean so much! I am ready for something new. I am ready to have deeper friendships with people I love. I am ready for new friends as well.

A little less then a month ago, my two good friends were married on a beautiful August day in Minot. Having moved to Fargo the weekend before, it was nice to return home for one final bash with everyone. I was a bridesmaid in the wedding and also sang with the groomsman I walked with, long time good friend and as of late, current boyfriend, Kody T.  We sang “Glance” by Misty Edwards.  My secret personal goal was to bring the house down crying. Success.  But it was really because of what was going on at the time:  Corey and Nikki, the groom and bride, were giving their parents flowers and exchanging hugs.  Nikki’s dad was bawling, and so they were all bawling.

The reception was a riot.  Our longtime friend Ben was the DJ.  It was a very young wedding, making for a full dance floor.  I danced with Katie, my sister, and her friends a lot.  Kody and I had a few dances, as well as one with Ben (tradition) and dance offs with some others.  I’d say my friends and I stole the show with our Karioke performance of “You Raise Me Up,”  a tribute to Black Friday and Ben’s birthday party of 2008, when we sang it all over town in a limousine.

Nikki was beautiful, and her and Corey had so many touches unique to them at their wedding and reception. (Live strings, Coldplay for the first dance, grass for center pieces)  They now live in Fargo, and I get to see them every week! Congrats, Corey and Nikki!

Being with my friends in Fargo has been so great.  God has given me the best of girlfriends.  He has given my joy and peace again, he has given me a great floor and staff, he has given me a great small group.  I am watching leaders cry out to Him, hungry for intimacy despite the business of their lives.  Prayer has been a blessing, and You have graced us with your presence.  What is more is that there has been so much healing, and I am still believing for full restoration with some relationships.

I feel like it is time to go deeper. Like He is trying to tell me something. I can’t miss it, in all this goodness.  I want what is precious in this life.

Finally, I have been blessed with a good friend and man of God in my life. The background story is an incredible story of God’s grace, but its to be told another time.  Kody and I are together now, and it is good.

I’ll end with some lyrics from “Glance”

When its all been said

When its all been done

When this race is run

And this life overcome

I will remember your love.

I remember the first glance, I remember the first romance, I remember the first dance,

when I fell in love with you.